2017- A year when despair changed the face of life

This year taught me profound things in life

This year has been about battling uncertainties, unexpected reality checks, and a teaching for me to view the other side of the world. Where the world isn’t a bed of roses

I thought I had ventured out of my comfort zone when in 2015-16  I traveled to 15 countries. Just as how to love and adventure can change a person, so can Despair.

Job search and fight for Tier 2

It has been a year and more now that I am without a job. I started my search when I was two months into my masters and I tried every strategy possible. At the end of it, I am still here without a tier 2. More than the fact that you don’t have a job the fact that no one wants you, sees you as someone they can sponsor, dont value the experiences you have got gnaws at you.  Attended around 20 interviews.Applied for 100 jobs. A degree from cambridge and IIT , two years of working in Shell, working in three countries, nothing mattered in the end. Wanted to get a job in London and coming to grips with my dream at the end of the year was painful when my company said they cant assure they can extend my contract.

I was one of those people who got the job in a fortune 500 company on the first day of placements and never looked back on the people who suffered to get a job. This year made me realize that life isnt fair always and shit happens to everyone.

Housing

This was the year I grew sick of changing houses. I moved over the past two years 8 times. I moved from Cambridge to Brazil then to London. Couch surfed with a friend and then moved into a house. The house owner wanted to house back so Need to look for a house again. So no stability on that front as well. The house hunting continues. I loved moving around and now all I desire is home decor. I can’t stop ogling at them when I shop. I want a home for myself

Friends

This year taught me that having friends who value you really help you emotionally. I turned to them thru these tough times and they were there. I sought abode in my friends and they helped me keep sane throughout the bad times

Creative pursuits

I wrote a very few post this year. I wanted to do photography walks, write on quora, post on insta my photography works, travel, write on my blog. I wasnt in a state to write a lot. I guess creativity requires free time and I dint have any.

Losing my UK biometric residence permit

A final blow came by when I lost my BRP in liverpool street after three interviews I attended that day. It will take me either 8 weeks to get it back if I apply or 600 pounds to get it in two weeks fast track. This meant I couldnt go home for christmas or new year.  To reapply I needed my address proof and I was couch surfing with my friend at that point. To get a house I needed a job. To get a job I needed to wait for results. The more longer I wait the longer it took to get my BRP.

What defines you

I always believed I didn’t need a guy, a job, a house, a permit or whatever to define myself. I believe I can do what I want and am strong the way I am but this year beat that thought to death

You need a house to get an address proof to get you BRP back

You need a job to get money to survive.Housing rents in UK are freaking expensive Also after march when my permit expires I need to head back home.

You need to get a guy, or else your parents wont be happy.

This whole external factors defining me put a severe strain on my free spirit.

Last year I got out of my comfort zone voluntarily and learned somethings. This year I was forced out of my comfort zone and forcibly learnt a lot of things.

It is at times like this that you need to bring out the hidden strength you thought you never had. I am proud of myself for having gone through so much and still staying sane.

This is a year when despair changed the face of life. I place my hope in 2018 to bring the much sought out stability. Whatever the state I get in, I will value and cherish what I get because it would have been got after so much of fight and hope.

I went on a roller coaster my friends forced me into in the winter wonderland. I placed my hope in god that it would be good. It was the most horrible three minutes of my life. it went upside down 4 times. I felt nauseous, giddy, unstable after that

Sometimes you need experiences like this to realize that

You know what you dont want
No matter what shit you go through,this too shall pass!

 

 

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5 thoughts on “2017- A year when despair changed the face of life

  1. Your post has shaken me a bit as i didnt think so much was happening although i know very little of you and follow you on facebook and instagram. Sad to know you are also one of the sufferer because of not so good job market this year for everyone even with highest qualifications. Glad to know you managed a job finally. I thought that things changed for girls these days where they have everything but looks that is not the case still. Sorry to know about the woes of permit and money crunch but glad u are happy with the choices you made and stick to them.
    Wishing you all the best for 2018.
    lastly “this too shall pass” has been my status on whatsapp since few months..advance new year wishes.

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  2. 2018 has been a new year as well with a new job and living in a city alien to me. You have been through a lot but what I see is a fighter.

    I hope 2018 values that and gives something good back. Best of luck Lalitha!

    Fight on.

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  3. துதிப்போர்க்கு வல்வினைபோம் துன்பம்போம் நெஞ்சில்
    பதிப்போர்க்கு செல்வம் பலித்துக் கதித்தோங்கும்
    நிஷ்டையும் கைகூடும் நிமலனருள்
    கந்தர் சஷ்டி கவசம் தனை.

    Like

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