This year taught me profound things in life
This year has been about battling uncertainties, unexpected reality checks, and a teaching for me to view the other side of the world. Where the world isn’t a bed of roses
I thought I had ventured out of my comfort zone when in 2015-16 I traveled to 15 countries. Just as how to love and adventure can change a person, so can Despair.
Job search and fight for Tier 2
It has been a year and more now that I am without a job. I started my search when I was two months into my masters and I tried every strategy possible. At the end of it, I am still here without a tier 2. More than the fact that you don’t have a job the fact that no one wants you, sees you as someone they can sponsor, dont value the experiences you have got gnaws at you. Attended around 20 interviews.Applied for 100 jobs. A degree from cambridge and IIT , two years of working in Shell, working in three countries, nothing mattered in the end. Wanted to get a job in London and coming to grips with my dream at the end of the year was painful when my company said they cant assure they can extend my contract.
I was one of those people who got the job in a fortune 500 company on the first day of placements and never looked back on the people who suffered to get a job. This year made me realize that life isnt fair always and shit happens to everyone.
Lookout for love
This year has been the grimmest in terms of prospects for love. A year- the longest I have stayed single and had no enthusiasm to look for love. I learned to be single and embrace my company. I let myself be mistreated, disrespected in the name of finding love, did not give others chances to pursue things further. I remember most of my year spent walking the green paths of St Edmunds college, and streets of Cambridge, walking to and from office in canary wharf in London, walking to interviews and back, standing my tower bridge on the lookout to London. I simply refused to fall into the trap of a relationship just to keep company and have a penpal to avoid loneliness. Though I am not an introvert by nature, I was forced to be one this year due to circumstances.
This was the year I grew sick of changing houses. I moved over the past two years 8 times. I moved from Cambridge to Brazil then to London. Couch surfed with a friend and then moved into a house. The house owner wanted to house back so Need to look for a house again. So no stability on that front as well. The house hunting continues. I loved moving around and now all I desire is home decor. I can’t stop ogling at them when I shop. I want a home for myself
This year taught me that having friends who value you really help you emotionally. I turned to them thru these tough times and they were there. I sought abode in my friends and they helped me keep sane throughout the bad times
I wrote a very few post this year. I wanted to do photography walks, write on quora, post on insta my photography works, travel, write on my blog. I wasnt in a state to write a lot. I guess creativity requires free time and I dint have any.
Losing my UK biometric residence permit
A final blow came by when I lost my BRP in liverpool street after three interviews I attended that day. It will take me either 8 weeks to get it back if I apply or 600 pounds to get it in two weeks fast track. This meant I couldnt go home for christmas or new year. To reapply I needed my address proof and I was couch surfing with my friend at that point. To get a house I needed a job. To get a job I needed to wait for results. The more longer I wait the longer it took to get my BRP.
Arrange marriage pressures
This was a time the pressure from parents increased to get married. They registered my profile on several websites and started sending me pictures of boys. The losing of BRP and my joblessness added fuel to fire and they coaxed me to return to India leaving all the shit behind.
What defines you
I always believed I didn’t need a guy, a job, a house, a permit or whatever to define myself. I believe I can do what I want and am strong the way I am but this year beat that thought to death
You need a house to get an address proof to get you BRP back
You need a job to get money to survive.Housing rents in UK are freaking expensive Also after march when my permit expires I need to head back home.
You need to get a guy, or else your parents wont be happy.
This whole external factors defining me put a severe strain on my free spirit.
Last year I got out of my comfort zone voluntarily and learned somethings. This year I was forced out of my comfort zone and forcibly learnt a lot of things.
It is at times like this that you need to bring out the hidden strength you thought you never had. I am proud of myself for having gone through so much and still staying sane.
This is a year when despair changed the face of life. I place my hope in 2018 to bring the much sought out stability. Whatever the state I get in, I will value and cherish what I get because it would have been got after so much of fight and hope.
I went on a roller coaster my friends forced me into in the winter wonderland. I placed my hope in god that it would be good. It was the most horrible three minutes of my life. it went upside down 4 times. I felt nauseous, giddy, unstable after that
Sometimes you need experiences like this to realize that
You know what you dont want
No matter what shit you go through,this too shall pass!